Witham 5s were away to Southend this past weekend, except they weren’t because it was in Rayleigh. However, the venue confusion did little to disrupt the focus of 5s, who delivered a clinical and dominant performance, securing a confident 4-0 victory and a deserved clean sheet, despite the best efforts of keeper Andy Wiseman.

From the whistle, Witham’s intent was clear. The midfield quickly established control, pressing high but in the early stages, the penetration of the D failed to deliver an end result. Will ‘Mr Awesome’ Saunders was so full of confidence he even tried to lob the world’s tallest keeper from the edge of the D. Shortly after, an audition fit for Strictly Come Dancing saw Saunders dancing what resembled a solo Argentine Tango and his subsequent withdrawal from the match.

The relentless Witham pressure led to the opening goal midway through the first half, courtesy of Samuel Cant. With Connor Avery having to assume the role of awesome in the middle, and Slap and Joe combining down the right, Witham continued to press and were rarely troubled at the back.

Half time came because the umpires blew a whistle. We all had a drink, checked Will was still awesome and then set about improving our shot to goal ratio in the second half.

The 5s barely allowed Southend a moment to breathe, controlling possession and forcing the opposition defense deep. The second goal arrived shortly after the break courtesy of Richard Dunnage, who swiftly notched a second from a typically effective short corner. All that practice at training is paying off!

Sam Madarbakus scored his 3rd goal in as many games to secure a resounding victory but not before Wiseman worked incredibly hard in goal to secure his DotD award by trying to let the ball run out despite it having stopped short. Short being the outcome as Mr 'Leave It' realised he couldn’t and conceded a penalty corner. Shortly after, a ball that he could have left was kicked away and Witham had to scramble to secure the clean sheet on his behalf.

Never one to shy away from feedback, Wiseman went straight home after the game, thanks to some awesome driving from Saunders while the rest of the team drove to the pub for teas. Connor got bored in traffic and left his travel companions in the car, while Lee Ward, uncharacteristically quiet all game, could be heard for miles bemoaning the choice of those in front to give way to oncoming traffic.

Next week, the team are looking to extend their undefeated run against visiting Thurrock at 2pm.

Man of the Match: Joseph Gardiner
Goal Scorers: Samuel Cant, Richard Dunnage (2), Sam Madarbarkus